For all of our theological maturity, we still expect that marriage to a beautiful virgin is our entitled reward for not having sex in high school.
I am convinced that many Christian young man have not fully shaken off this terrible theology.
In light of all this, here are three reasons I think Christian men should pursue Christian single moms for marriage.
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing.” (Proverbs ) Period.
But the long-lasting effects of this nonsense is not funny.
Even for those of us young men who have come to understand the staggering reality of the gospel, and what it means for “purity”—namely, that “not having sex” is a pitiful substitute for “purity” when we consider the actual purity of Jesus’ imputed righteousness—we still find the expectations of our pimply-17-year-old-selves hard to shake.
We have come to understand, in principle, that “virginity” does not equate to “purity.” And we have further come to understand, in principle, that “marriage” is not the culminating reward for our not having sex before marriage.
But functionally, marriage is still idealized to be something vainer than what Scripture calls it.
Marriage, young men are told at youth camp, is our reward for not having sex in high school.This means that a husband and wife who cannot have children are no less able to experience the essence of marriage than those who can, and a husband and wife who begin their marriage with children already in the picture are also no less able to experience the essence of marriage than those who begin childless. Not only is a marriage between a man and a single mom still able to reflect the gospel—and thereby meet the chief end of marriage—such a marriage also has the potential of reflecting the gospel to an even greater degree, since it reflects not only Christ’s love for his Bride, but also the Father’s love for his adopted children!Far from being a burden, marriage to a single mom is brimming with gospel-displaying potential.Even in the case of rape, a consistent Christian looks at the conception of a child as the brightly shinning silver-lining, which runs straight down the middle of a tragic situation.Additionally, we would rightly identify the abortion of a baby conceived out of wedlock as sin, so the young woman who has sex outside the proper bounds of marriage, conceives a child, and chooses to carry that baby to full term, in spite of all the pressure from the culture in which she resides to kill the baby, acts rightly.